Forget the fancy tablecloths and pretentious menus.
In Illinois, the real culinary treasures are hiding in plain sight, serving up slices of heaven in the most unexpected places.
Get ready for a pie-tastic adventure with these 8 unassuming pie spots!
1. Myrtle’s Pie (Princeton)
Tucked away in the charming town of Princeton, Myrtle’s Pie is like stepping into your grandmother’s kitchen – if your grandmother was a pie-baking savant with a penchant for vintage decor.
The moment you lay eyes on that red-brick storefront with its striped awning and old-timey signage, you know you’re in for something special.
Inside, it’s a nostalgic wonderland of checkered tablecloths and the intoxicating aroma of butter and sugar.
But let’s cut to the chase – we’re here for the pies, and boy, do they deliver.
Their signature apple pie is a work of art, with a perfectly flaky crust that somehow manages to contain a small orchard’s worth of cinnamon-kissed apples.
It’s like autumn decided to throw a party in your mouth, and everyone’s invited.
But don’t you dare leave without trying their coconut cream pie.
It’s so light and fluffy you’ll swear it was made by cloud-dwelling elves with a degree in dessert engineering.
One bite, and you’ll be plotting ways to move to Princeton just to be closer to this slice of paradise.
2. The Apple Barn (Chatham)
Don’t let the name fool you – The Apple Barn isn’t just about apples.
Although, let’s be honest, their apple pie is so good it could probably broker world peace if given the chance.
This unassuming red barn in Chatham is a testament to the fact that sometimes, the best things in life come in simple packages.
As you approach, you’re greeted by the sight of cheerful mums and pumpkins, like nature’s own welcome mat.
Inside, it’s a cozy haven of rustic charm and the kind of warmth that makes you want to kick off your shoes and stay awhile.
Their pies are the stuff of legend, with crusts so buttery and flaky they should come with a warning label: “May cause spontaneous happiness and uncontrollable pie-induced grins.”
The peach pie, when in season, is like biting into a summer day – juicy, sweet, and utterly perfect.
And don’t even get me started on their cherry pie.
It’s so good, it’ll make you forget about all other fruits.
Sorry, other fruits, but cherry is having a moment here.
3. The Village Bakery (Oregon)
Nestled in the quaint town of Oregon (yes, there’s an Oregon in Illinois – who knew?), The Village Bakery is the kind of place that makes you believe in love at first bite.
From the outside, it’s a modest brick building that could easily be mistaken for any small-town bakery.
But step inside, and you’re transported to a world where calories don’t exist and pie is a food group.
Their cream pies are the stuff of dreams – light, silky, and so decadent you’ll want to write sonnets about them.
The banana cream pie, in particular, is a revelation.
It’s like someone took the essence of comfort food, added a dash of nostalgia, and wrapped it all up in a perfectly golden crust.
But the real showstopper?
Their seasonal pumpkin pie.
It’s not just a pie; it’s an experience.
Rich, velvety, and spiced to perfection, it’s the kind of dessert that makes you want to hug the baker and ask if they’re accepting applications for taste-testers.
4. Kruta Bakery (Collinsville)
Kruta Bakery in Collinsville is like the Clark Kent of bakeries – unassuming on the outside, but hiding superpowers within.
This family-owned gem has been churning out heavenly baked goods since 1919, and let me tell you, they’ve had plenty of time to perfect their craft.
Their fruit pies are a symphony of flavors, with crusts so perfectly golden they could make a sunset jealous.
But the real star of the show?
Their custard pie.
It’s smooth, it’s creamy, it’s… well, it’s basically what I imagine clouds taste like if clouds were made of happiness and eggs.
And let’s not forget about their famous Krutafest celebration.
It’s like Oktoberfest, but instead of beer, it’s all about the baked goods.
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Imagine a world where pie is the main currency, and you’re getting close to the magic of Krutafest.
It’s the kind of event that makes you seriously consider moving to Collinsville just to be closer to the action.
5. Long Grove Confectionery Co. (Long Grove)
Long Grove Confectionery Co. is like Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, but for pie lovers.
Housed in a charming red building that looks like it was plucked straight out of a storybook, this place is a testament to the fact that sometimes, you can judge a book by its cover – especially when that cover is adorned with a sign promising delicious treats.
Their chocolate cream pie is so rich and decadent, it should come with its own trust fund.
One bite, and you’ll be planning your next visit before you’ve even finished your slice.
But the real showstopper?
Their apple pie with caramel drizzle.
It’s like they took fall, distilled it into its purest form, and then wrapped it in a buttery crust for good measure.
And don’t even get me started on their seasonal offerings.
Their pumpkin cheesecake pie is the kind of dessert that makes you want to hug the baker and ask them to adopt you.
It’s creamy, it’s spicy, it’s… well, it’s basically autumn on a plate.
6. Pie Boss (Aurora)
With a name like Pie Boss, you know they mean business.
This no-nonsense pie shop in Aurora is proof that sometimes, the best things come in small packages.
From the outside, it might not look like much – just another storefront in a strip mall.
But step inside, and you’re entering a world where pie reigns supreme.
Their menu reads like a greatest hits of pie flavors, but with unexpected twists that’ll make your taste buds do a happy dance.
The cherry almond pie?
It’s like a flavor explosion in your mouth.
The banana split pie?
It’s childhood nostalgia in dessert form.
But the real MVP here is their signature Boss Pie.
It’s a behemoth of a dessert, layering chocolate and vanilla custard with fresh bananas and a mountain of whipped cream.
It’s the kind of pie that makes you want to cancel all your plans and spend the rest of the day in a blissful, pie-induced coma.
7. First Slice Pie Cafe (Chicago)
First Slice Pie Cafe in Chicago is like the Robin Hood of pie shops – they serve up delicious desserts while giving back to the community.
Located in a charming corner building with a distinctive turret, it’s the kind of place that makes you feel good about indulging your sweet tooth.
Their Michigan sour cherry pie is a tangy-sweet masterpiece that’ll make you wonder why you ever bothered with any other fruit.
And don’t even get me started on their French silk pie.
It’s so smooth and rich, it should come with its own velvet rope.
But what really sets First Slice apart is their mission.
They use their pie powers for good, providing meals for those in need.
So not only are you satisfying your pie craving, but you’re also helping feed others.
It’s like karma, but with more whipped cream.
8. The Happy Apple Pie Shop (Oak Park)
Last but certainly not least, we have The Happy Apple Pie Shop in Oak Park.
This cheerful little spot is like sunshine in bakery form.
With its bright green exterior and welcoming vibe, it’s impossible to walk by without popping in for a slice (or three).
Their apple pie (because with a name like Happy Apple, you know it’s got to be good) is a cinnamon-spiced dream that’ll make you want to high-five the baker.
But the real dark horse here is their key lime pie.
It’s tart, it’s sweet, it’s creamy – it’s basically a tropical vacation in pie form.
What makes The Happy Apple extra special is their commitment to providing employment opportunities for adults with developmental disabilities.
So each bite of pie comes with an extra helping of feel-good vibes.
There you have it, folks – a pie-lover’s tour of Illinois that’ll have you loosening your belt and planning your next road trip.
Remember, calories don’t count when you’re on a culinary adventure.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some leftover pie calling my name.