Imagine a world where calories don’t count and sugar is a food group.

Welcome to Michigan’s candy wonderland, where history and confectionery collide in the most delicious way possible!

1. Caruso Candy & Soda Fountain Since 1922 (Dowagiac)

Step into Caruso’s, and you’re not just entering a candy store; you’re time-traveling to a sweeter era.

This Dowagiac gem has been satisfying sweet tooths since Warren G. Harding was in office.

That’s right, they’ve outlasted 18 presidents and countless diet fads.

The storefront, with its classic awning and charming window display, looks like it could be the set of a nostalgic movie.

But trust me, the treats inside are very real and very tempting.

Their soda fountain isn’t just for show – it’s a fully functioning portal to simpler times when “Instagram” was just a really fast telegram.

Caruso’s isn’t just selling candy; they’re peddling memories.

Each piece of taffy or chocolate-covered whatever is wrapped in a century of tradition.

It’s the kind of place where grandparents bring their grandkids, pointing out the same jars they drooled over in their youth.

“See that licorice? It paid for my first car,” they might say, only half-joking.

So, if you find yourself in Dowagiac with a hankering for something sweet and a dash of history, Caruso’s is your spot.

Just remember, calories consumed in historic establishments don’t count.

That’s not science, but it should be.

2. Kilwin’s Chocolates (Petoskey)

Kilwin’s in Petoskey is like the Willy Wonka factory of Northern Michigan, minus the potentially traumatizing boat rides.

Since 1947, they’ve been turning mere mortals into chocolate aficionados and making dentists both worried and wealthy.

The storefront looks like it could be the mayor’s office in a town made entirely of candy.

With its regal signage and inviting windows, it’s practically begging you to abandon your diet and embrace your inner child – or in my case, my very present outer adult who loves sweets.

Inside, it’s a symphony of scents – caramel, chocolate, and freshly made waffle cones playing together in perfect harmony.

You half expect to see Oompa Loompas dancing around, but instead, you get friendly Michiganders who are just as passionate about sweets.

Their “Perfect Apple” isn’t just a clever name; it’s a challenge to every other caramel apple in existence.

Watching them make these gooey, crunchy delights is like seeing Michelangelo paint the Sistine Chapel – if Michelangelo worked in caramel and had a much tastier end product.

Kilwin’s isn’t just a stop; it’s a pilgrimage for the sweet-toothed.

It’s where diets go to die and where happiness is measured in pounds – both the weight and the currency.

So next time you’re in Petoskey, do yourself a favor and stop by Kilwin’s.

Your taste buds will thank you, even if your waistline won’t.

3. Alpine Chocolat Haus (Gaylord)

Nestled in Gaylord, the Alpine Chocolat Haus is like finding a Swiss chalet in the heart of Michigan – if that chalet was made of chocolate and staffed by Willy Wonka’s more practical cousins.

It’s the kind of place that makes you wonder why we don’t build more buildings out of candy.

(Note to self: Patent edible architecture.)

The exterior, with its charming alpine-style facade, looks like it was plucked straight out of a fairytale – or maybe a really delicious ski resort.

Step inside, and you’re hit with a wave of chocolatey aroma so potent, you’ll swear you can gain weight just by breathing.

Their claim to fame? Chocolate-covered potato chips.

It’s the snack equivalent of a mullet – business on one side, party on the other.

It’s the perfect treat for those times when you can’t decide if you’re craving something sweet or salty.

Why not both? It’s 2023, we contain multitudes.

The Alpine Chocolat Haus doesn’t just make candy; they elevate it to an art form.

Their truffles are so pretty, you almost feel bad eating them.

Almost.

It’s like destroying a tiny chocolate Mona Lisa with your teeth, and it’s glorious.

So, if you find yourself in Gaylord with a chocolate craving and a sense of adventure, the Alpine Chocolat Haus is your Everest.

Just remember to pace yourself – chocolate mountain climbing is a marathon, not a sprint.

4. Sweetland Candies (Grand Rapids)

Sweetland Candies in Grand Rapids is the Switzerland of the candy world – neutral in politics but taking a firm stance on deliciousness.

Since its inception, it’s been the go-to place for locals looking to sweeten up their lives or apologize for forgetting an anniversary.

(Pro tip: Nothing says “I’m sorry I forgot our special day” like a five-pound box of assorted chocolates.)

The store, with its no-nonsense exterior, is like a speakeasy for sugar addicts.

It’s not flashy, but those in the know understand that behind those doors lies a treasure trove of sweetness.

It’s the kind of place that doesn’t need to shout about its greatness – the candy does all the talking.

Inside, it’s a candy lover’s fever dream.

Rows upon rows of homemade confections line the shelves, each one beckoning you like a siren call of sugar.

Their chocolate-covered cherries are so good, they should come with a warning label: “May cause spontaneous happiness and the inability to share.”

But Sweetland isn’t just about the classics.

They’re innovators in the field of “How can we make this even more delicious?”

Their sea salt caramels are like a flavor explosion in your mouth – it’s what I imagine winning the lottery tastes like.

So, next time you’re in Grand Rapids and your sweet tooth is screaming louder than a sugar-high toddler, make a beeline for Sweetland Candies.

Just remember, with great candy comes great responsibility.

And possibly a sugar crash.

But it’s totally worth it.

5. The Peanut Store (Holland)

The Peanut Store in Holland is like the United Nations of nuts – bringing together a diverse array of legumes in the name of deliciousness.

It’s been around since 1902, which means it’s old enough to have seen the invention of the airplane, television, and somehow, sliced bread.

Talk about staying power!

The storefront, with its vintage charm and that adorable peanut mascot, is like stepping into a time warp – a delicious, nutty time warp.

It’s the kind of place that makes you wonder why we ever moved away from having mascots for everything.

(I, for one, would love to see the Broccoli Baron or the Asparagus Aristocrat.)

Inside, it’s a nut lover’s paradise.

The aroma is intoxicating – a mix of roasted peanuts, chocolate, and history.

Their famous “Nutty Paddle Pops” are like the Avengers of the candy world – a superhero team of nuts, chocolate, and pure joy, assembled to save you from boring snacks.

But The Peanut Store isn’t just about nuts.

They’ve got a candy selection that would make Willy Wonka jealous.

Their hand-dipped chocolates are so good, they should be considered a controlled substance.

“Sorry officer, I couldn’t help myself. Have you tried their chocolate-covered almonds?”

So, if you find yourself in Holland with a hankering for something nutty (the food kind, not the behavior – although both are welcome), make a pit stop at The Peanut Store.

Just be prepared – you might go in for a small bag of peanuts and leave with enough nuts to feed a squirrel army.

But hey, that’s a pretty sweet problem to have.

6. Sayklly’s Confectionery & Gifts (Escanaba)

Sayklly’s in Escanaba is the kind of place that makes you question everything you thought you knew about candy.

It’s been around since 1906, which means it’s seen more sugar rushes than a kindergarten teacher on Halloween.

The store, with its classic red-brick exterior and vintage signage, looks like it could be the setting for a heartwarming movie about a plucky young candymaker who saves the town with the power of sweetness.

(Hollywood, if you’re reading this, I want royalties.)

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Step inside, and you’re hit with a wave of nostalgia so strong, you half expect to see your childhood self running around with a lollipop stuck to your face.

The array of candies is mind-boggling – it’s like someone took all your sweet dreams and put them on shelves.

Their claim to fame? The “Yooper Bar.”

It’s not just a candy bar; it’s a rite of passage for anyone visiting the Upper Peninsula.

Eating one is like being inducted into a secret society of sugar lovers.

The password? “Mmmph,” because your mouth will be too full to say anything else.

But Sayklly’s isn’t just living in the past.

They’re constantly innovating, coming up with new ways to combine sugar, chocolate, and happiness.

Their seasonal offerings are like limited edition happiness – get them while you can, or spend the rest of the year in FOMO-induced agony.

So, if you find yourself in Escanaba with a sweet tooth and a sense of adventure, Sayklly’s is your Mecca.

Just remember to brush your teeth afterwards – your dentist might not believe “historical research” as an excuse for cavities.

7. Sanders Chocolate & Ice Cream Shoppe (Clinton Twp)

Sanders in Clinton Township is like the Louvre of the candy world – if the Louvre let you eat the exhibits and had a really killer ice cream selection.

It’s been around since 1875, which means it’s older than sliced bread, the automobile, and even the concept of “dieting.”

(Coincidence? I think not.)

The store, with its charming Tudor-style architecture, looks like it could be the summer home of the Keebler Elves – if they decided to branch out into gourmet chocolates and ice cream.

It’s the kind of place that makes you believe in magic, or at least in the magical properties of butter and sugar.

Step inside, and you’re transported to a world where calories don’t exist and “balanced diet” means a scoop of chocolate ice cream in each hand.

The aroma is intoxicating – a mix of cocoa, caramel, and pure, unadulterated joy.

Their hot fudge is legendary.

It’s not just a topping; it’s a religious experience.

Watching it being poured over ice cream is like seeing Michelangelo paint the Sistine Chapel – if Michelangelo worked in chocolate and his masterpiece was meant to be devoured immediately.

But Sanders isn’t just about ice cream and hot fudge.

Their chocolates are so good, they should come with a warning label: “May cause spontaneous happiness and the inability to share.”

Their sea salt caramels are like a flavor explosion in your mouth – it’s what I imagine winning the lottery tastes like.

So, if you find yourself in Clinton Township with a craving for something sweet and a willingness to temporarily suspend all dietary restrictions, Sanders is your promised land.

Just remember, with great candy comes great responsibility.

And possibly a sugar crash.

But trust me, it’s totally worth it.

8. Ryba’s Fudge Shops (Mackinac Island)

Ryba’s Fudge Shops on Mackinac Island are like the Disneyland of fudge – if Disneyland was on a car-free island and Mickey Mouse was made of chocolate.

They’ve been around since 1936, which means they’ve survived World War II, the moon landing, and countless diet fads.

Now that’s what I call sweet perseverance.

The shops, with their quaint exteriors and those irresistible “FUDGE” signs, are like sirens calling to your sweet tooth.

You can smell the sugary goodness from down the street, and suddenly your legs are moving of their own accord.

It’s not your fault – it’s just the power of fudge.

Step inside, and you’re hit with a wave of sweetness so potent, you’ll swear you can feel your dentist wincing from miles away.

The fudge-making process is on full display, like a delicious, chocolatey theater.

Watching the fudge being paddled on those marble slabs is hypnotic – it’s like a sugar-induced trance.

Their fudge flavors are more diverse than a United Nations assembly.

From classic chocolate to wild concoctions like “Traverse City Cherry,” there’s a flavor for every mood and possibly every day of the year.

You could theoretically have a different fudge for breakfast every day.

(Note: This is not nutritional advice. Or is it?)

But Ryba’s isn’t just about fudge.

They’ve got other sweets too, because apparently, they believe in the “go big or go home” philosophy of candy-making.

Their brittles and taffies are so good, they should be considered controlled substances.

So, if you find yourself on Mackinac Island with a sweet tooth and a willingness to temporarily forget everything you know about balanced diets, Ryba’s is your mecca.

Just remember, fudge is like a good friend – sweet, comforting, and best enjoyed in moderation.

Or not.

I’m a writer, not a nutritionist.

9. Sweetwater’s Donut Mill (Kalamazoo)

Sweetwater’s Donut Mill in Kalamazoo is like the night club of the pastry world – open 24/7 and always ready to satisfy your cravings, whether it’s 2 PM or 2 AM.

It’s the kind of place that makes you question why we even bother with “regular” mealtimes.

Donuts for dinner? Don’t mind if I do!

The exterior, with its unassuming facade and simple signage, is like a secret clubhouse for the sugar-obsessed.

It doesn’t need flashy decorations or gimmicks – the smell of fresh donuts is all the advertising it needs.

It’s like a tractor beam for your nose, pulling you in whether you planned to stop or not.

Step inside, and you’re hit with a wave of sweetness so potent, you’ll swear you can feel your pancreas waving a white flag.

The display cases are like an art gallery, if art was round, deep-fried, and covered in sprinkles.

Their donut variety is mind-boggling – it’s like they’ve made it their mission to deep-fry every flavor combination known to man.

Their specialty donuts are where things get really wild.

We’re talking donuts topped with breakfast cereal, donuts filled with cream that would make a French pastry chef weep, donuts that look like they were designed by Willy Wonka after a particularly vivid fever dream.

It’s not just breakfast – it’s an adventure.

But Sweetwater’s isn’t just about the classics.

They’re constantly innovating, coming up with new flavors that push the boundaries of what a donut can be.

Maple bacon? Sure.

S’mores? Why not.

A donut that tastes like a pizza? Stranger things have happened, probably.

So, if you find yourself in Kalamazoo at any hour of the day or night with a craving for something sweet and circular, Sweetwater’s Donut Mill is your oasis in the desert of boring snacks.

Just remember, with great donut power comes great responsibility.

And possibly a sugar crash.

But hey, that’s what coffee is for, right?

There you have it, folks – a sugar-coated tour of Michigan’s sweetest spots.

Remember, calories consumed on vacation don’t count, and neither do the ones eaten in the name of “cultural exploration.”

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some very important “research” to conduct.

For science, of course!