Imagine a world where butter isn’t just a condiment, but a way of life.
Welcome to Wisconsin, where bakeries aren’t just shops – they’re portals to carb-laden nirvana.
1. Lazy Jane’s Cafe and Bakery (Madison)
Nestled in a charming lime-green building on Madison’s east side, Lazy Jane’s Cafe and Bakery is anything but lazy when it comes to its scones.
This whimsical spot looks like it was plucked straight out of a storybook, complete with a pink flamingo and an eclectic array of garden ornaments that would make your grandma’s lawn jealous.
As you approach, you’ll notice the name spelled out in Scrabble tiles – a clever touch that sets the tone for the quirky experience ahead.
Step inside, and you’re greeted by an aroma so divine, it’s like receiving a warm, buttery hug from a benevolent pastry deity.
At Lazy Jane’s Café, their scones are legendary, changing flavors more swiftly than the unpredictable weather in Wisconsin.
But let’s be honest – you’re not here counting calories.
No, you’re here because there’s a simple joy in devouring a scone that’s almost as big as your head.
And Lazy Jane’s?
They deliver on that promise with the enthusiasm of a favorite aunt who insists you need seconds.
So, grab a scone and prepare for a deliciously oversized start to your day!
2. Batch Bakehouse (Madison)
If Willy Wonka decided to ditch the chocolate and go all-in on artisanal bread, the result would probably look a lot like Batch Bakehouse.
This brick-faced beauty in Madison is where carb dreams come true, and gluten-free nightmares go to die.
The moment you step inside, you’re hit with the intoxicating scent of fresh-baked everything.
Their scones are like edible works of art – if art was meant to be devoured in two bites while making embarrassing noises of delight.
Batch Bakehouse isn’t just about scones; it’s a veritable playground for carb enthusiasts.
Picture this: one moment you’re savoring a crusty baguette that could rival those in Paris, and the next, you’re blissfully sinking your teeth into a croissant so fluffy it might just float away.
The variety is dizzying, enough to lure you back day after day. But here’s the catch—your waistband might start protesting.
So, embrace the delicious dilemma and indulge a little.
After all, life’s too short to deny yourself the joy of freshly baked, buttery goodness.
Just don’t say I didn’t warn you about the snug pants!
3. Greenbush Bakery (Madison)
Greenbush Bakery in Madison is like that unassuming neighbor who secretly throws the best parties.
It’s the kind of place where you walk in for a donut and walk out questioning your life choices.
This kosher gem may have a simple storefront with a humble neon “Open” sign, but inside, it’s a pastry paradise.
Their scones are like the middle child of the bakery case—often overshadowed but sneakily spectacular.
But let’s face it, the real stars here are the donuts.
They’re so good, you’ll start wondering why all your life-changing epiphanies didn’t come with a side of sprinkles and glaze.
And who could blame you?
These circular pieces of heaven are so good, they should probably be illegal.
The best part?
Greenbush is open late, because apparently, they understand that donut cravings don’t adhere to normal business hours.
It’s like they’ve tapped into the collective unconscious of every college student and night owl in Madison.
4. Rocket Baby Bakery (Wauwatosa)
Rocket Baby Bakery in Wauwatosa is what you’d get if a Parisian boulangerie decided to crash a Midwest potluck and brought the galaxy’s best baguettes to share.
This place is the kind of bakery that makes you believe magic is real, and it comes in the form of gluten.
While their scones might not scream for attention, they quietly steal the show like a shy kid with a secret talent for breakdancing.
But the real superstar here?
The bread.
It’s the kind of bread that doesn’t just complement your meal; it demands its own spotlight, perhaps even a dedicated shelf at home with a tiny spotlight and a velvet rope.
The bakery itself, with its blue exterior and retro-chic vibe, is like the cool kid who just sauntered into the chess club, bringing a whiff of freshly baked charm and a dash of espresso-fueled excitement.
This place is a delicious playground for carb enthusiasts.
5. Simma’s Bakery (Wauwatosa)
Simma’s Bakery in Wauwatosa is like that friend who never misses a party—and always arrives with the kind of dessert that makes everyone’s eyes light up with joy.
Picture this: a cheesecake so divine, it could make angels weep.
That’s Simma’s specialty, and after one bite, you’ll be questioning every other cheesecake you’ve ever encountered. It’s that celestial.
Now, while you’re there drooling over the cheesecake, don’t overlook the scones.
They’re the unexpected heroes of the menu, sneaking up on your taste buds with their delightful and addictive qualities.
Simma’s Bakery has a motto: “Eat. Drink. Give thanks.”
And trust me, once you indulge in their baked goods, you’ll find yourself whispering sweet gratitudes to the pastry gods more often than you’d care to admit.
Just don’t be surprised if you start planning trips to Wauwatosa solely for another slice of that cheesecake heaven.
6. Bloedow’s Bakery (Winona)
Alright, here’s the scoop: Winona may technically reside in Minnesota, but Bloedow’s Bakery is so heavenly, it tempts even the most loyal Wisconsinites to cross state lines.
It’s like an irresistible siren call of sugar and carbs, and who are we to resist?
Related: This 1950s-Themed Ice Cream Parlor in Wisconsin Will Transport You Straight to Your Childhood Dreams
Related: This Funky Restaurant in Wisconsin has More Military Artifacts than Many Midwest History Museums
Related: This Kitschy Rock-Themed Restaurant in Wisconsin is Too Quirky for Words
Nestled right on the border, this bakery has been a staple since 1924.
That’s nearly a century of perfecting the art of making people drool.
Their scones?
Pure magic.
They’re like teleporting to an era when calories were myths and butter was a hero.
But the donuts, oh, the donuts!
These are the true celebrities of Bloedow’s, sparking journeys from near and far.
People don’t just visit; they embark on pilgrimages to worship these doughy deities.
It’s like a sacred site, but with more sprinkles and fewer sandals.
If there’s one rule about Bloedow’s, it’s that no one leaves without a smile…and a dozen donuts.
7. Manderfield’s Home Bakery (Appleton)
Manderfield’s in Appleton is the kind of place that makes you question why you ever let store-bought bread into your life.
With roots going back to 1934, they’ve been serving up goodness longer than most of us have been around to enjoy it.
Their scones?
Think of them as the multi-tool of pastries—ready to rescue your mood, whatever the crisis.
But the real show-stopper here is their vast array of baked goods, ranging from breads to pastries to cakes.
It’s like a delicious challenge: how many visits until you’ve sampled everything twice?
The bakery’s brick exterior exudes a timeless charm, signaling to the world, “We’re not here to mess around; we’re here to bake—and bake exceptionally well.”
And do they ever deliver on that promise!
It’s a place where each crumb whispers sweet nothings to your taste buds, and each bite reminds you why carbs are just so darn lovable.
8. Racine Danish Kringles (Racine)
If you’ve never sunk your teeth into a kringle, it’s time to reevaluate your life choices.
Head to Racine, Wisconsin, pronto—consider it a pastry pilgrimage.
These oval-shaped, buttery delights are so cherished here that they might as well be the unofficial state mascot.
And when it comes to kringles, Racine Danish Kringles are the reigning royalty.
Sure, they bake a mean scone, but let’s get real: you’re here for the kringles.
With layers so flaky they could moonlight as a stand-up comic and fillings so delightful they should come with a happiness disclaimer, these pastries are dangerously addictive.
The bakery might not win any beauty contests from the outside, but step in, and you’re in a paradise of pastry perfection.
Your nose will guide you past the throng of satisfied customers, all united in their quest for kringle nirvana.
Proceed with caution—pure joy awaits, and it might just be habit-forming.
9. Clasen’s European Bakery (Middleton)
Clasen’s European Bakery in Middleton is like taking a European vacation without the jet lag or the stress of currency conversion.
This place is so authentically European that you might leave with a mysterious accent and a sudden craving to learn the accordion.
Their scones are just a warm-up act, the appetizer before the main course.
Dive into their European-style pastries and bread, and you might just discover the meaning of life.
The croissants?
They’d bring a tear to a Parisian’s eye.
The strudels?
Revolutionary enough to start a pastry uprising!
That red awning outside is like a lighthouse guiding carb enthusiasts safely to shore.
Step inside, and you’ll find a treasure chest of baked goods so delightful that relocating to Middleton might cross your mind.
Because, after all, who wouldn’t want to live next door to the source of such irresistible, doughy wonders?
So there you have it, folks – nine bakeries that prove Wisconsin is more than just cheese and beer.
Though let’s be honest, cheese and beer are pretty great too.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some scones to eat.