Imagine a place where Swiss charm meets Wisconsin whimsy, where goats graze alongside golfers, and where every putt is an adventure.
Welcome to Swissland Miniature Golf in New Glarus!
Nestled in the heart of America’s Little Switzerland, Swissland Miniature Golf is the kind of place that makes you wonder if you’ve accidentally stumbled through a portal to the Alps.
But don’t worry, you’re still in Wisconsin – the cheese is just as good, and the people are just as friendly.
This isn’t your average mini-golf course, oh no.
It’s a whimsical wonderland where the line between reality and fantasy blurs faster than a Wisconsin winter turns your nose red.
As you approach the entrance, you’re greeted by a sight that would make even the most stoic Swiss guard crack a smile.
Picture this: lush green fairways dotted with charming wooden structures, rocky outcroppings that look like they’ve been plucked straight from the Matterhorn, and – wait for it – real, live goats!
Yes, you heard that right.
Goats.
At a mini-golf course.
Because nothing says “hole-in-one” quite like a curious goat eyeing your golf ball as a potential snack.
The course itself is a masterpiece of miniature proportions.
Each hole is a unique challenge, designed to test your putting skills and your ability to resist the urge to yodel with joy.
From winding paths that snake through flower-filled gardens to tricky slopes that would make a mountain climber think twice, every shot is an adventure.
And let’s not forget the water hazards.
They’re not just there to make you lose your ball – they’re there to make you lose your mind with delight.
Babbling brooks and serene ponds add a touch of Alpine tranquility to your game, even as you’re frantically trying to figure out how to get your ball past that pesky windmill.
Speaking of windmills, the obstacles at Swissland are a sight to behold.
You’ll find yourself putting through tiny Swiss chalets, navigating around miniature cow pastures, and even trying to avoid the watchful gaze of a wooden St. Bernard.
It’s like someone took all the best parts of Switzerland, shrunk them down to Lilliputian size, and scattered them across 18 holes of pure, unadulterated fun.
But the real stars of the show?
Those would be the goats.
These adorable, four-legged landscapers roam freely around the course, keeping the grass trimmed and providing endless entertainment for golfers of all ages.
They’re like furry, hooved caddies, except instead of giving you advice on your swing, they’re more likely to try and eat your scorecard.
As you make your way through the course, you’ll notice that every hole has its own unique charm.
There’s the one with the miniature Matterhorn, where your ball has to navigate treacherous “snow-covered” slopes.
Then there’s the hole with the tiny Swiss village, complete with flower boxes and shuttered windows.
You half expect to see a miniature chocolatier pop out and offer you a tiny truffle.
But my personal favorite?
The hole with the working cuckoo clock.
Time your putt just right, and you might find your ball sailing through the open door as the little bird pops out to announce the hour.
It’s like golf and performance art had a baby, and that baby grew up to be really, really good at making people smile.
Now, I know what you’re thinking.
“Sure, it sounds fun, but is it challenging?”
Let me put it this way: I’ve seen grown adults reduced to fits of giggles trying to get their ball past a miniature cheese wheel.
This course may be cute, but it’s got teeth.
Or should I say, it’s got horns?
But the beauty of Swissland isn’t just in its clever design or its adorable animal inhabitants.
It’s in the way it brings people together.
Families, couples, groups of friends – everyone finds common ground on these quirky greens.
I’ve seen grandparents high-fiving grandkids after a particularly tricky shot.
I’ve witnessed first dates turn into love stories when both parties realized they shared a passion for putt-putt and puns.
And I’ve watched countless people forget their worries and just enjoy the simple pleasure of knocking a little ball into a hole while surrounded by beauty and laughter.
As you make your way through the course, you’ll notice little details that add to the Swiss-Wisconsin fusion theme.
There’s a hole where you have to putt your ball through a miniature cheese factory.
Another features a tiny ski lift that actually moves!
And let’s not forget the hole with the replica of New Glarus’s famous Puempel’s Tavern – complete with tiny beer steins on the windowsills.
It’s like a crash course in local culture, all while you’re trying to avoid a crash course with the obstacles.
But Swissland isn’t just about the golf.
Oh no, my friends.
It’s about the experience.
The owners have gone above and beyond to create an atmosphere that’s as welcoming as it is whimsical.
The staff are friendlier than a Wisconsinite with a fresh batch of cheese curds, always ready with a smile and a helpful tip on how to tackle that tricky seventh hole.
And let’s talk about the scenery for a moment, shall we?
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Swissland isn’t just plopped down in the middle of a parking lot like some mini-golf courses I could mention.
No, this little slice of Alpine heaven is surrounded by the rolling hills and lush farmland that make Wisconsin so darn beautiful.
As you’re lining up your shot, you might find yourself distracted by the stunning view of the countryside.
Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us.
Just blame your missed putt on the scenery. It’s a perfectly acceptable excuse here.
Now, I know some of you might be thinking, “But what if I’m not good at golf?”
First of all, welcome to the club. We meet every Tuesday and Thursday at the local pub.
Secondly, that’s the beauty of Swissland – you don’t have to be good at golf to have a good time.
In fact, sometimes being terrible at it makes the whole experience even more hilarious.
I’ve seen people spend five minutes trying to get their ball up a tiny hill, only to have it roll back down every single time.
And you know what?
They were laughing harder than anyone else on the course.
It’s not about the score, folks. It’s about the journey.
And if that journey happens to involve a few detours into the rough (or as I like to call it, “goat territory”), well, that’s just part of the fun.
As you make your way through the course, you’ll notice that each hole has its own little story to tell.
There’s the one inspired by the Swiss tradition of alphorn blowing, complete with a miniature alphorn that actually plays a tune when you sink your putt.
Then there’s the hole that pays homage to Wisconsin’s dairy heritage, featuring a maze of cheese blocks that your ball has to navigate.
It’s like a delicious, dairy-filled obstacle course for your golf ball.
And let’s not forget the hole that combines both Swiss and Wisconsin traditions – the chocolate and beer hole.
Yes, you read that right.
Your ball has to travel through a miniature chocolate factory and a tiny brewery before reaching the cup.
It’s like a liquid diet, but for your golf ball.
One of the things that makes Swissland so special is its commitment to embracing both its Swiss heritage and its Wisconsin roots.
It’s not just about slapping some Swiss flags on a mini-golf course and calling it a day.
No, the owners have gone to great lengths to create an authentic experience that honors both cultures.
You’ll find traditional Swiss flower boxes bursting with colorful blooms next to classic Wisconsin barn-red structures.
Alpine-style chalets share space with replicas of local landmarks.
It’s a cultural fusion that works so well, you’ll wonder why no one thought of combining Switzerland and Wisconsin before.
But perhaps the most charming aspect of Swissland is how it brings out the kid in everyone who visits.
I’ve seen buttoned-up businessmen in suits abandon all pretense of adulthood as they chase their golf balls through the course.
I’ve watched grandmothers giggle like schoolgirls as they try to putt around a grazing goat.
And don’t even get me started on the actual kids – their joy is so infectious, you’ll find yourself grinning from ear to ear just watching them.
It’s like the fountain of youth, but instead of water, it’s filled with mini-golf balls and goat feed.
As you near the end of your Swissland adventure, you might find yourself feeling a little sad.
After all, 18 holes go by quickly when you’re having this much fun.
But fear not, dear golfer!
The fun doesn’t have to end when you sink that final putt.
Swissland has a charming little snack bar where you can refuel after your golfing expedition.
And let me tell you, their Swiss-inspired treats are almost as delightful as the course itself.
Almost.
From flaky pastries that would make a yodeller sing with joy to ice cream flavors that combine the best of Swiss and Wisconsin dairy traditions, it’s the perfect way to cap off your visit.
And if you’re lucky, you might even get to enjoy your snack while watching the goats engage in their own version of mini-golf.
As the sun begins to set over the rolling Wisconsin hills, casting a golden glow over Swissland’s whimsical landscape, you might find yourself reluctant to leave.
Don’t worry, that’s a common side effect of experiencing this much joy in one afternoon.
The good news is, Swissland isn’t going anywhere.
It’ll be here, ready and waiting for your next visit, whether that’s tomorrow, next week, or next year.
Because once you’ve experienced the magic of this Swiss-Wisconsin wonderland, you’ll find yourself drawn back time and time again.
It’s like a yodeling siren call, but with more goats and less potential for shipwrecks.
So, whether you’re a Wisconsin local looking for a fun day out, a tourist exploring the charms of America’s Dairyland, or just someone who appreciates the finer things in life, Swissland Miniature Golf is a must-visit destination.
It’s more than just a game – it’s an experience, a journey, a chance to reconnect with your inner child and your outer goat-whisperer.
For more information about this delightful destination, be sure to check out Swissland Miniature Golf’s Facebook page.
And when you’re ready to embark on your own Swiss-Wisconsin adventure, use this map to guide your way to mini-golf nirvana.
Where: 700 WI-69, New Glarus, WI 53574
Remember, in the grand game of life, sometimes the best move is to grab a putter, pet a goat, and putt your way to happiness.
Swissland is waiting for you!