Want a sandwich that’s a global sensation?
The Original Gonella’s in Detroit, Michigan, is famous for its massive Italian subs that are worth every bite!
In a world where everything seems to be getting smaller (except our waistlines), it’s refreshing to find a place that still believes in the power of excess.
Welcome to The Original Gonella’s, a Detroit institution that’s been serving up sandwiches the size of small cars since before your grandpa learned to drive.
This isn’t just any deli, folks.
This is the kind of place where the sandwiches have their own gravitational pull.
You know how some people say, “I’ll just have half a sandwich”?
Well, at Gonella’s, that’s still enough to feed a small village.
As you approach the unassuming brick building on the corner, you might wonder if you’ve stumbled upon a secret government facility disguised as a deli.
But fear not, the only experiments happening here involve the perfect ratio of meat to cheese to bread.
The exterior might not scream “culinary hotspot,” but that’s part of its charm.
It’s like that friend who always shows up to parties in sweatpants but somehow still gets all the attention.
Step inside, and you’re transported to a world where calories don’t count and diet culture is a distant memory.
The interior is a no-frills affair, with shelves stocked with enough Italian groceries to make your nonna weep with joy.
It’s like someone took a slice of old-world Italy, stuffed it into a time machine, and dropped it smack dab in the middle of Detroit.
The air is thick with the aroma of cured meats, aged cheeses, and freshly baked bread.
It’s enough to make your stomach growl louder than a Motown backup singer.
Now, let’s talk about the main event: the subs.
These aren’t your average foot-longs, my friends.
These are the Godzillas of the sandwich world.
When they say “Italian sub,” they mean the entire boot of Italy crammed between two slices of bread.
The menu is a carnivore’s dream and a vegetarian’s nightmare.
You’ve got your choice of meats – turkey, ham, chicken, mortadella, roast beef, corned beef, pastrami, salami – enough options to make a butcher blush.
And let’s not forget the cheese selection: Swiss, provolone, American, and hot pepper.
It’s like a United Nations of dairy products in there.
But here’s where it gets interesting.
You don’t just order a sandwich at Gonella’s.
Oh no, you architect it.
You’re the Frank Lloyd Wright of lunch.
Choose up to four meats and one cheese, and watch as they stack it higher than your childhood dreams.
It’s like playing Jenga, but with deli meats.
And unlike Jenga, when this tower falls, you get to eat it.
Now, I know what you’re thinking.
“But what about the vegetables? Surely there must be some token lettuce or a stray tomato slice?”
Fear not, health enthusiasts.
Each sub comes with lettuce, tomatoes, and onions.
It’s Gonella’s way of saying, “See? We care about your health… kind of.”
And let’s not forget the piece de resistance: Gonella’s homemade dressing.
This isn’t your run-of-the-mill condiment, folks.
This is the secret sauce that ties everything together.
It’s so good, you’ll want to bathe in it.
(Note: Please don’t actually bathe in it.
That would be weird, and probably violate some health codes.)
But Gonella’s isn’t just about the subs.
Oh no, they’ve got a whole lineup of Italian delicacies that’ll make you question why you ever eat anything else.
Take their homemade pasta salad, for instance.
It’s like a party in a bowl, minus the awkward small talk and bad dancing.
Or the antipasto salad, which is basically Italy’s greatest hits album in edible form.
And let’s not overlook the homemade tuna salad.
It’s so good, it’ll make you forget about that time you got food poisoning from gas station sushi.
(Pro tip: Never eat gas station sushi.
That’s like playing Russian roulette with your digestive system.)
But wait, there’s more!
Because apparently, Gonella’s motto is “Why stop at just sandwiches when we can dominate all forms of deli cuisine?”
They’ve got chicken salad that’ll make you cluck with delight, macaroni salad that puts your aunt’s potluck contribution to shame, and mustard potato salad that’ll have you questioning why you ever ate plain old mashed potatoes.
And let’s not forget the coleslaw.
It’s crunchy, it’s creamy, it’s everything you want in a cabbage-based side dish.
It’s the kind of coleslaw that makes you say, “You know what? Maybe I don’t hate coleslaw after all.”
Now, I know what you’re thinking.
“This all sounds great, but surely it must cost a fortune.
I’ll have to take out a second mortgage just to afford lunch!”
Well, prepare to be pleasantly surprised, because Gonella’s prices are as old-school as their recipes.
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We’re talking sandwiches starting at just $5.50.
That’s right, for the price of a fancy coffee, you can get a sandwich that’ll keep you full until next Tuesday.
It’s like they haven’t updated their prices since the Ford administration.
(The first one, not the second one.)
But Gonella’s isn’t just a place to grab a quick bite.
It’s a time machine, a cultural experience, a gastronomic adventure.
It’s the kind of place where you can almost hear your ancestors whispering, “Yes, this is how a sandwich should be.”
The staff at Gonella’s are like sandwich-making ninjas.
They move with the precision of a surgeon and the speed of a caffeinated squirrel.
Watch in awe as they build your sandwich with the care and attention usually reserved for disarming bombs or assembling IKEA furniture.
And don’t be surprised if they remember your order the next time you come in.
These folks have memories like elephants, if elephants were really into deli meats.
Now, a word of warning: eating at Gonella’s requires strategy.
This isn’t a meal you can tackle willy-nilly.
You need to approach it with the same level of planning and dedication as a military operation.
First, wear loose-fitting clothes.
This is not the time for skinny jeans or anything with buttons.
Think elastic waistbands and flowing fabrics.
You want to give your stomach room to expand like the universe after the Big Bang.
Second, pace yourself.
This isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon.
A delicious, meat-filled marathon.
Take your time, savor each bite, and remember to breathe between mouthfuls.
Third, bring reinforcements.
These sandwiches are perfect for sharing, or for feeding a small army.
Don’t be a hero.
There’s no shame in admitting you can’t finish a sandwich the size of a newborn.
And finally, clear your schedule for the rest of the day.
After a Gonella’s sub, you’re going to need a nap.
Possibly several naps.
It’s the kind of food coma that makes hibernating bears look like light sleepers.
But Gonella’s isn’t just about the food.
It’s about the experience, the atmosphere, the feeling that you’re part of something bigger than yourself.
(And by “bigger than yourself,” I mean a sandwich that’s literally bigger than your head.)
It’s about the conversations you’ll have with fellow patrons, all united in their quest for the perfect sub.
It’s about the sense of community that comes from sharing a meal that could feed a small country.
And let’s not forget the people-watching opportunities.
Gonella’s attracts a diverse crowd, from suited businessmen to tattooed bikers, all brought together by their love of oversized sandwiches.
It’s like a United Nations summit, but with more mustard stains.
You might see a grandmother teaching her grandkid the art of properly tackling a giant sub.
Or a first date where the couple realizes they’re perfect for each other because they both ordered the four-meat special.
It’s these little moments that make Gonella’s more than just a deli.
It’s a slice of Detroit life, served on a soft or hard roll (your choice).
So, next time you’re in Detroit and you’re feeling hungry – and I mean really hungry, like “I just finished a triathlon and haven’t eaten in days” hungry – make your way to The Original Gonella’s.
Bring your appetite, your sense of adventure, and maybe a wheelbarrow to cart away your leftovers.
Because at Gonella’s, they don’t just make sandwiches.
They make memories.
Delicious, meaty memories.
And who knows?
You might just find yourself becoming part of the Gonella’s legend.
Maybe they’ll name a sandwich after you.
So go ahead, take the plunge.
Dive into a Gonella’s sub.
Your taste buds will thank you, your stomach will be confused but ultimately grateful, and your Instagram followers will be green with envy.
Just remember to bring a napkin.
Or ten.
Or maybe just wear a bib.
Trust me, you’ll need it.
For more information about this Detroit institution, check out The Original Gonella’s Facebook page.
And when you’re ready to embark on your sandwich pilgrimage, use this map to guide your way to deli nirvana.
Where: 295 Oakwood, Detroit, MI 48217
Your journey to sandwich enlightenment awaits at The Original Gonella’s.
May your meats be plentiful, your cheese be melty, and your bread be sturdy enough to hold it all together.