Imagine a place where the sandwiches are so tall, you need to unhinge your jaw like a snake to take a bite. Welcome to Kaufman’s, where the corned beef is king and the calories don’t count.
In the heart of Skokie, Illinois, there’s a deli that’s been serving up slices of heaven between two pieces of rye for decades.
Kaufman’s Bagel & Delicatessen isn’t just a restaurant; it’s a time machine that transports you back to the golden age of Jewish delis.
As you approach the unassuming storefront, you might wonder if you’ve stumbled upon a hidden gem or just another sandwich shop.
But let me tell you, my friends, this is no ordinary deli.
This is the kind of place where the pastrami is so good, it might just make you consider converting to Judaism – if only to have an excuse to eat here more often.
Step inside, and you’re immediately hit with the intoxicating aroma of freshly baked bagels and simmering brisket.
The air is thick with the scent of tradition, and you can almost taste the history in every breath.
The menu board looms large above the counter, a testament to the deli’s commitment to offering a wide array of Jewish delicacies.
It’s like reading the Dead Sea Scrolls, but instead of ancient wisdom, you’re deciphering the secrets of the perfect sandwich.
Now, let’s talk about that corned beef sandwich.
Oh boy, where do I even begin?
This isn’t just a sandwich; it’s a work of art.
It’s the Mona Lisa of the deli world, if Leonardo da Vinci had worked with meat instead of paint.
The corned beef is piled so high, it’s like they’re trying to build a meaty skyscraper between two slices of bread.
Each bite is a symphony of flavors – the salty, tender corned beef, the tangy mustard, and the soft yet sturdy rye bread all coming together in perfect harmony.
It’s the kind of sandwich that makes you close your eyes and say “Oy vey” with every mouthful.
But Kaufman’s isn’t just about the corned beef.
Oh no, my friends, this place is a veritable Noah’s Ark of deli delights.
They’ve got everything from matzo ball soup that’ll warm your soul to lox so fresh, you’d swear it just swam up from Lake Michigan.
The bagels here are the real deal – chewy, dense, and with just the right amount of crust.
They’re so good, you might find yourself wondering if there’s a secret underground bagel lab beneath the deli.
(Spoiler alert: there isn’t, but wouldn’t that be cool?)
And let’s not forget about the pickles.
These aren’t your run-of-the-mill, straight-from-the-jar pickles.
No sir, these are the kind of pickles that have been lovingly brined to perfection.
They’re crisp, they’re tangy, and they’ve got just enough garlic to ward off any vampires that might be lurking in the Chicago suburbs.
Now, I know what you’re thinking.
“But what about the atmosphere? Is it all just good food and no ambiance?”
Let me paint you a picture, dear reader.
Imagine a place where the decor hasn’t changed much since the Carter administration, and that’s part of its charm.
The walls are adorned with photos of satisfied customers and local celebrities, creating a veritable who’s who of Skokie’s culinary elite.
The tables are no-nonsense affairs, designed for eating, not for Instagram photoshoots.
This is a place where the food takes center stage, and everything else is just a supporting actor.
The staff at Kaufman’s are characters in their own right.
They’ve got the kind of dry wit that could turn a pickle even sourer.
Don’t expect any “Have a nice day” platitudes here.
Instead, you might get a gruff “Enjoy” as they slide your tray across the counter.
But don’t mistake their brusqueness for rudeness – it’s all part of the authentic deli experience.
These folks are the guardians of gastronomic greatness, and they take their job very seriously.
Now, let’s talk about the clientele.
Kaufman’s is the kind of place where you’ll see everyone from little old ladies discussing the latest synagogue gossip to hungry construction workers fueling up for a long day on the job.
It’s a melting pot of humanity, united by their love of good food and their willingness to wait in line for it.
Because yes, there will be a line.
But trust me, it’s worth it.
This isn’t fast food; it’s slow food done right.
While you’re waiting, take a moment to peruse the grocery section.
It’s like a treasure trove of Jewish and Eastern European delicacies.
You’ll find everything from kosher wines to imported chocolates.
It’s the kind of place where you might come in for a sandwich and leave with a jar of schmaltz and a sudden urge to learn Yiddish.
Now, I know some of you health-conscious folks out there might be clutching your kale smoothies in horror at the thought of all this delicious, fatty food.
But let me tell you something – a visit to Kaufman’s is like a cheat day for your soul.
It’s comfort food in its purest form, the kind of meal that makes you want to call your mother and thank her for giving you taste buds.
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And hey, if you’re really worried about your waistline, you can always order a side salad.
Just don’t be surprised if the guy behind the counter gives you a look that says, “Really? You came to a deli for a salad?”
One of the things that makes Kaufman’s so special is its commitment to quality.
This isn’t some mass-produced, cookie-cutter deli fare.
Everything is made with care and attention to detail.
The corned beef is cured in-house, the bagels are boiled and baked fresh daily, and the matzo balls in the soup are so light and fluffy, they practically float off your spoon.
It’s the kind of place where you can taste the love in every bite.
And let’s not forget about the rugelach.
These little pastries are like the unsung heroes of the Jewish bakery world.
Flaky, sweet, and filled with cinnamon or chocolate, they’re the perfect way to end your meal.
Or to start it. Or to have as a mid-meal snack.
Let’s be honest, there’s never a bad time for rugelach.
Now, I know some of you might be thinking, “But I’m not Jewish. Will I feel out of place?”
Let me put your mind at ease, my friend.
Kaufman’s is for everyone who appreciates good food, regardless of their background.
You don’t need to know your kugel from your knish to enjoy a meal here.
All you need is an appetite and a willingness to loosen your belt a notch or two.
One of the things that keeps people coming back to Kaufman’s, besides the food-induced coma, is the sense of nostalgia it evokes.
In a world of fast-casual dining and trendy food trucks, Kaufman’s is a throwback to a simpler time.
It’s the kind of place your grandparents might have gone on their first date, and now you’re taking your kids there.
It’s a living, breathing piece of culinary history, serving up memories alongside the matzoh ball soup.
And let’s talk about that soup for a moment, shall we?
It’s like a warm hug for your insides, the kind of soup that could cure anything from a common cold to a broken heart.
The broth is clear and flavorful, the vegetables are tender but not mushy, and the matzoh balls are so light and fluffy, they defy the laws of physics.
It’s the kind of soup that makes you want to call your mother and apologize for ever thinking her soup was the best.
(Sorry, Mom, but Kaufman’s has you beat.)
Now, I know some of you might be wondering about the prices.
Yes, quality comes at a cost, and Kaufman’s isn’t the cheapest meal in town.
But let me ask you this: can you really put a price on happiness?
On the kind of satisfaction that comes from biting into a perfectly crafted sandwich?
On the joy of discovering a new favorite food?
I think not.
Besides, when you consider the portion sizes, you’re practically getting two meals for the price of one.
It’s like the loaves and fishes miracle, but with corned beef.
As you leave Kaufman’s, belly full and spirits high, you might find yourself already planning your next visit.
Will you try the pastrami next time?
Or maybe the whitefish salad?
The possibilities are endless, and each one is more mouth-watering than the last.
You might even catch yourself humming a little tune as you walk to your car, something that sounds suspiciously like “If I Were a Rich Man” from Fiddler on the Roof.
And in that moment, with the taste of deli goodness still lingering on your tongue, you’ll realize that you are rich – rich in the knowledge that you’ve just experienced one of the best meals of your life.
So, my friends, if you find yourself in Skokie, Illinois, do yourself a favor and make a pilgrimage to Kaufman’s Bagel & Delicatessen.
Your taste buds will thank you, your stomach will thank you, and you’ll finally understand why the phrase “I’ll have what she’s having” was invented.
Just remember to bring your appetite, your sense of humor, and maybe a pair of stretchy pants.
Trust me, you’re going to need them.
For more information about this culinary wonderland, check out Kaufman’s website or Facebook page.
And don’t forget to use this map to find your way to deli nirvana. Your epic corned beef sandwich awaits!
Where: 4905 Dempster St, Skokie, IL 60077
Who knew paradise could be found between two slices of rye? At Kaufman’s, every bite is a journey, every sandwich a story. So go forth, eat well, and may the schmaltz be with you.