The Yowl

Twelve Year Old Exposes The Shawshank Redemption for the Boring Trash That It Is

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This Issue Brought to You By: Insomnia Billions of Greenhouse Gas Rights Activists Demonstrate to Hasten Climate Change

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Added to Mandatory Meal Plan: Faculty, Staff, Raccoons, Residents of Davidson, Greater Charlotte Area

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On August 29, [former] Davidson College President Carol Quillen (or P-Quillz as she used to be affectionately known) decreed that starting next year, all faculty and staff will be required to purchase a 90-block meal plan from the school. replique montre de luxe replique montre suisse replique de montre rolexRead More

Freshman Reinvents Self As Not-Awful Person with Help of Consumer Goods

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On Monday, incoming freshman David Cowall announced his plans to reinvent himself as an individual who was not morally reprehensible in every conceivable category, which he plans to do primarily by acquiring the right kinds of possessions. With a slew of graduation gifts and recent Amazon purchases, Cowall fully believesRead More

Quillen Bows to Mounting Yik Yak Pressure, Resigns Post

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Bowing to a barrage of criticism about the mandatory meal plan on the popular social media app “Yik Yak,” President Quillen announced Tueesday that she would give in to the hundreds of anonymous toilet jokes calling for her resignation.  The app, which allows users to post comments to a location-basedRead More