Campus Sculpture Temporarily In Barcelona Taken Hostage By Catalonian Independence Movement

The US Department of State revealed in a shocking statement last Thursday that the famous sculpture of a crouching man, which traditionally resided on Davidson College’s campus, has been captured by fervent supporters of Catalonian Independence.

Formally named Waves III, this stainless-steel work by sculptor Jaume Plensa had recently been sent back to Plensa’s studio in Barcelona for refurbishing. These repairs unfortunately coincided with Catalonia’s declaration of independence from Spain on October 27.

Both Madrid and the United States released statements that same day, declining to recognize Catalonia as a sovereign state. Discontent, zealous supporters of independence struck back just hours later by breaking into Plensa’s studio under cover of darkness and stealing Waves III, mid-refurbishment.

Although the United States and Madrid have been trying to negotiate with the Catalonian rebels, the two thousand Davidson students hoping for a quick return of their beloved sculpture may be out of luck. The State Department’s official statement, released almost two weeks after the hostage situation began, indicated that the kidnappers are demanding that the United States recognize Catalonia’s independence in exchange for the return of the statue.

The State Department expressed a refusal to even consider this, claiming that recognition of an independent Catalan Republic would effectively backstab Spain as a NATO ally. As of press time, negotiations were still stuck at this impasse.

When interviewed about their thoughts on the hostage sculpture, Davidson students reflected a variety of viewpoints. “Ohhh yeah, that one metal guy with the weird letters? I noticed that it was gone,” quipped Lilly Rothman ‘21. On the other hand, Marc Todd ‘20 grew misty-eyed when asked his opinion, reminiscing about the, “good old days,” when the worst thing that happened to the sculpture was a drunk freshman trying to sit inside of it.

The Yowl has additionally received unconfirmed reports of a new “Davidson in Catalonia” study abroad program that sources say is actually an Argo-esque front for a daring covert mission to rescue the hostage statue and return it to its Davidson home.